What I Learned As A Mom: A Snapshot Of My Life

Motherhood is one of the wildest rides of my life thus far! I’ve learned to love harder, let some things go, chill the f%ck out, and to take things as they come. As a control freak and lightweight perfectionist, those lessons have been hard-fought. Anyway… below is a snapshot of the things I’ve learned about myself as a mom over the past the past 1,879,200 minutes and counting.

#1. Your boobs will turn on you. My tits are different now! Building my upper body strength and new (smaller) bras are giving them life right now.

#2. I love/need/want sleep. If I had to choose sleep or sex, I would choose sleep. But when I wake up…shiiid…it is ALL good, Baby Boy! *Cue Ginuwine’s My Pony* #sheready #leggo

#3. Mom’s need MF breaks! Self care is the secret sauce to my life. Ya heard me! I have to take good care of myself and take breaks (alone or with friends) so I can be a good mom. I cannot survive any other way! If you don’t like my saying this, then maybe you need a break. Check out my homegirl, Nicole Walker, who took weekly Mommy Breaks for an entire year. They were so good, she wrote a book!

#4. Balance is a lie. When my son was a newborn, I tried to balance life as a wife, work a full-time job, and be an entrepreneur… I failed terribly. Let me tell you, balance is a lie. You have to constantly make decisions about how you will spend your time and what you’ll focus on. You cannot do it all, Honey Chile! (Right now I’m trying to write this blog post and my 3yo is as close as close can be wanting my attention.) I shooed him away. Why?! Because I want to focus on my writing. Balancing him on my lap while trying to get these thoughts on paper is a no. He will be ok. #boybye

#5. Daniel Tiger is a responsible, reliable sitter. Daniel is the business. We employ him a few times a week as well as the old crew that lives on Sesame Street.

#6. Moms can look good. Beloved– if you are looking raggedy and frumpy- don’t blame it on the chirren. Yes, they are stingy little people who want all of everything you got plus your reserves! (Do you know how many times I asked God to revive my last black nerve?!) But there are inexpensive and quick ways for you to look your best. You deserve it, Ma! Get you a brow pencil, some concealer, and gloss from the drugstore and keep it moving.

And if you are a little stuck- follow my Boo, Dr. Kiarra King, for affordable style tips. Trust me, you will feel better when you look better. [Side note: Growing up, my family went through all kinds of challenges, but my mom managed to dust herself off every morning and give them face, Hunty! I believe this helped her get through the day feeling good about herself and all the sh*t she had to deal with as a Black woman, wife, and mom of four. She reminds me to keep it together so my son can see what self care looks like even at a base level.]

#7. Good mommy friends are your life line. I cannot thank this group of broads often enough for their empathy, honesty, non judgmental attitudes, advice, support, and confidence in me. They have saved me in unimaginable ways! Just having a space to say the things no one wants to say and that it’s ok to say them out loud is priceless. Knowing you are not alone is a blessing.

#8. Motherhood is a joy. I talk a lot of stuff about my journey *tee hee* but I am glad that I am a mom. His laugh, his smile, and wit are all the best of me and my husband. We are truly blessed to experience this love. It is truly like no other. 

Alexandria M. Cummings is a wife and mom to one handsome son. Together, her guys are two of the most handsome chocolate wonders you ever did see! When she’s not loving on them or practicing self-care, she is a financial education advocate for youth in the Chicago area. Follow her on Twitter @UrMoneyMentor.