Why Can’t We Be Empowered to Have a Seat After Childbirth?
Now I love a bad dress. And a mean pair of heels. I would actually rock both every day if I could. But hours after I give birth? Nah, give me a break. Literally. Actually, give me a seat because I’m tired just looking at Duchess Kate!
What happened to graciously recovering after childbirth in body and spirit? Why is our society overly-obsessed with the thought of Insta-Snapbacks and pretending as if we are completely unbothered by childbirth?
We live in a world where celebrities are competing to see who can return to “normal” more expeditiously than the last person, and proving it by showing the world they have morphed back into their pre-pregnancy state in record time. I’m not saying they are wrong, I am just wishing to see more narratives that don’t center around the immediate perfection of our post-pregnancy selves. It just feels 1960-ish.
Now, I’m not royalty and I don’t have the pressure to uphold ancient traditions, so that’s that. But I was stunned, disappointed, and borderline sad when Kate’s photo emerged of her holding her hours-old baby…IN HEELS! Of course, she has the right to be beautiful and fabulous right after birth. And she was! I get that and I’m not in the business of raining on someone else’s glamor parade.
BUT. What message is this sending to women across the world? What message is this sending to young girls trying to find their identity as emerging women in an already patriarchal society? What message does this send to mothers from all classes and backgrounds about the importance of always looking “on” and being beautiful, even immediately following something so life-changing as labor & delivery?
If I were Kate I would have simply said “NAH.”
It would have been really refreshing if Kate broke with tradition and did what so many of us were thinking: decline the staged performance and TOOK A SEAT. Several seats to be exact. Recliners to be extra specific, in order to reduce Postpartum swelling in the feet. The constant pressure to look amazing, convince others that we are unbothered and remain fabulously unchanged is a societal trend that doesn’t seem to be slowing down.
It’s totally okay to look disheveled, while sitting on your donut pillow with the hospital mesh panties and ice-pack while your va-jay-jay heals (as Oprah coined it). Birth is excruciating, motherhood is exhausting, and being able to admit to not feeling perfect is empowering. Focusing on the rawness of childbirth in all its glory is humanizing and REAL.
Although I love stunning photos and pretty dresses, a message of normalcy would have gone a lot further.
In closing, I wish the Royal story had gone like this:
Royal Family: Duchess Kate, please emerge to the world in your royal perfection!
Kate: Nah. I’m going to have a seat today.
