Kick in the Door: 10 Ways My Kids Have Taken Over

Here I was, floating through life with me in the center. I shopped often, ate well, partied hard, and had an abundance of me-time. Until….. the kids came to kick in the door, waiving a new reality on my entire life! All the things I used to do before….NULL AND VOID! It’s like they just moved up on into my life, knocked out walls, and set up shop on everything I thought I knew!

10 ways my kids have taken over:

1. Netflix & Chill: Cancel That. Nah, there won’t be any of that going on. In fact, there won’t be any watching of Netflix, Grey’s, Scandal or any hot show, period! Thomas the Train and Paw Patrol have totally taken over my DVR and knocked all my stuff out of the rotation. And definitely no smooching! Instead of cuddling up to a romantic movie, my husband and I have 2 little people snuggled in between us making us binge on Blaze and the Monster Machines. Who has time to watch the season finale of HTGAWM when you are caught on the cliffhanger of Doc McStuffins?
2. Fine Dining. Adios. I can remember the days of glamoring up to head out, toast at the bar, and dine away at the most upscale downtown restaurants. Lobster, caviar, risotto, white table clothes? Now that’s a blast from the past! These days restaurant dining consists of a family-friendly, noisy place where our kids can blend in. Chili’s, TGIF’s and Applebee’s (ugh) seem to work much better for my turnt-up crew! Especially when kids can eat for free! R.I.P. to the fancy white linens of my past.
3. Traveling by Plane. Ha ha! I used to take my tiny little carry-on and stroll up to the airport gate at the last minute, completely unbothered. Not anymore. These days I have to get to the airport 9 hours before my 2 hour flight JUST to make it through the terminals with all of our crap. The logistics for getting kids, car seats, and strollers through the airport is more than a notion. Just getting through security makes me sweat bullets, and when we finally make it on the plane I’m exhausted. Somehow my vacations feel more like a field trip for a preschool class of 20, and I’m the only chaperone that signed up!
4. Late night means in at 8. There are no all-nighters, or painting the town red until the sun comes up. The way our yawns are set up, we can barely make through dinner dates without fantasizing about getting in the bed.
5. Sleep, what’s that? Before kids, I took advantage of “a full-night’s rest.” I used to sleep in, eat, sleep some more, take a nap, you know, fun grown up stuff like that. Now “sleep” is a term with a different definition that now means “closing your eyes until you are interrupted.” From nursing, to sick babies, to consoling a kid during a nightmare, sleep is a thing of the past. I’m not even sure how I manage to function off of mere fumes these days, but I suppose I make it work like so many other mothers around the world!
6. Grocery shopping is a field trip. I look back in time and remember when grocery shopping used to be oh so easy. Grab a cart, throw your stuff in, bam, check out. Now, my daughter always insists on pushing her own cart, which means she constantly runs into my heels. The kids are always begging for stuff they don’t need and half the time, don’t even know what it is. And someone always has to use the bathroom, which means abandoning my cart in the middle of the store so we can run to the restroom. What should only be a 10 minute trip in theory takes at least 45 minutes.
7. I text my husband when we are both home. A long time ago, we would come home and talk for hours about our day, tell funny jokes, and fantasize about the future. Not now, our house is always too noisy and chaotic for mindless chatter. When someone isn’t crying, tantruming or fighting sleep, we are running around cleaning up spills and trying to keep this ship afloat. There is no time for chatting, active listening, or even saying things like “tell me about your day.” As soon as we try to hold a conversation we are interrupted by endless toddler chatter competing for our attention. We often find ourselves texting each other in the house just to get a word in and privately connect. “Honey, how was your day?” and “do you want to host NYE this year?”
8. I shop for them instead of me. They make me empty out my entire wallet on their little fashions! There used to be a time where I would leisurely peruse the mall, racking up shopping bags with the cutest dresses, shoes, and accessories for my party life. Nope, that’s gone. All my money seems to go to keeping my diva looking fierce and my sons on-point. I must say that shopping for them is way more enjoyable anyway!
9. I love so much harder. Yes, they have kicked in the door of my heart and completely opened it! I loved people before my children entered this world. But having children has allowed me love mankind in a deeper, more endearing way. I see the world through toddler eyes and accept and empathize with people in a way I never knew possible. Children will turn the hardest person mushy and the coldest person into a warm, melted mess.
10. Wine has become a major food group. My kids made me become best friends with red wine. Whether sipping at home or on a date with girlfriends, a fresh glass of wine is always the answer to everything motherhood. Sip up!

Have you kids completely taken over? How so? Share this blog!

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