10 Reasons You Know You’re a Boy Mom

I grew up in a blended family, according to what’s politically correct. My mom and dad both had children from previous relationships before they married, and then had three children together. In our immediate household, there were my two older sisters, me in the middle, and then two little brothers behind me.

Those little brothers TORTURED ME! Especially the one that’s 17 months my junior. He did whatever he could to annoy, distract, and divert my attention away from whatever it was I was doing to him. And his goal was to get me to squeal, shriek, fight, chase, and engage in a wrestling match. Most of the times I rewarded his efforts with my emotional and passionate reactions. He often took off running with his bare-chest, tight-fitted shorts, twinkling eyes and snaggle-toothed smile. I charged right behind him, swinging and praying for contact.

I remember my little brothers being obsessed with Bruce Lee and Jean-Claude Van Damme.  Routinely, they took two chairs, climbed on top, and then carefully lowered themselves into a split formation with one foot turned up on each chair (see photo below). They were so proud of their efforts. Me as their sister just rolled my eyes in response and prayed for the swoosh and kicks of their verbal sound effects for their 17th karate fight of the day, to soon pass.

 

Now that I’m a mother of three boys, I find myself watching my boys do many of the things my little brothers did! Two decades later, one thing remains the same… boys will be boys! If you have multiple boys or just one boy, you can probably relate to a few points on my list.

Most, if not all, Boy Moms can Relate to this list:

1. You can dress boys in 60 seconds or less in the morning. No one really cares when boys aren’t perfectly coordinated. A t-shirt, jeans or sweats, and sneakers are pretty much wardrobe staples!
2. Over time, you are perfectly okay with them wrestling and fighting, and even expect it! In fact, a suddenly quiet house is an immediate warning sign that they are up to no good and you need to find them ASAP!
3. You often hear loud thuds in parts of the house. Your heart rate accelerates a little as you stop what you’re doing, listen for what type of cry that may or may not follow. You determine if you need to check on them based on what you hear. Most of the time you shrug and go about your business.
4. They get into your makeup bag, and when you finally see them, multi-colored eye shadow plasters their eyes. You laugh, take a photo, and file that in “High School Graduation Slide-Show Photos”. You also hurry and wipe it off before your husband sees them. LOLOLOL!
5. When a youth football hits you square in the forehead, your husband solely focuses on how accurate the aim is. Congratulations, you’re a boy mom!
6. Your weeknights and weekends are completely taken over by sports. If you have a lawn chair on stand-by in your trunk, then yep! You have boys!
7. The boys present you with dandelions at least 3 days a week. And each time your son(s) give them to you, they hold them out like they are freshly picked, long-stemmed roses. You take them, conjuring up the happiest smile you can muster while oozing an enthusiastic “awww, thank you! So sweet!” Although infinitely touching, you secretly scout out where to stash them. Keep it real with me, okay?! Don’t nobody want them thangs!
8. You buy new sneakers every 2-3 months. After foot measurings, your eyes bulge in surprise that they’ve grown by 2 sizes. How do they grow so fast? How did they walk in their old shoes?! How did you NOT notice their shoes were too small?!
9. If you have ever had itchy boys, you know the itch can include areas below the belt. When my son was 1.5 years, he frequently requested that I scratch his er um…scrotum. One day he actually fell into a deep sleep while I relieved his itch. With his diaper was halfway open and his legs sprawled out like a little frog, his eye lids became heavy until he finally succumbed to nap-time slumber. If one of your boys has ever put you through that, extra boy mom points! I will be starting a prayer call for their future wives. Ya’ll in?
10. And finally, if you have ever greeted your boys (or even other people’s kids) by flipping them upside down, body-slamming them on the bed, pinning them down, or tickling them until they can’t take another second, then you my dear, are a boy mom! Perhaps you need to start workin’ on that girl for some household balance. LOL!

BONUS: If you hear your child say “I have to peeee!” and you’re nowhere near a public restroom, you direct them to the nearest bush. Or, you hide them between your driver and passenger door, allowing them to aim at your tire. Yep, I will admit that this aspect of raising boys is super convenient.

I’ve learned to go with the flow

Whether you have a boy or girl, they are individually special, unique, and fun. Both boys and girls come with their own set of parenting challenges. Even though I naturally like to know what will happen next, boys teach me to be flexible and go with the flow! I’m still learning that the world doesn’t end if they show up with holes in their pants or stains on their clothes. Life will go on when they face-plant into the pavement or jump off of objects they had no business climbing on. With each new phase of motherhood, God’s grace is sufficient for us to give it back to our children.

Parenting boys is HARD! They try your patience day in and day out. But let’s remember to have fun with parenting, let our children see us having fun, and experience fun things together! Serious, authoritative parents are no fun. Cheers to parenting with a loving balance of discipline, joy, order, and a soft place for our children to fall, over and over again.

So how is this list? Can you identify? Add your own “Boy Mom” moments below!

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