Why I'm Still Nursing A Toddler.

Alexandria pictured with her son….notice where his hand is

Yep I’m still nursing a toddler. Deal with it.

Before becoming a mom, I knew that I would nurse. I had girlfriends whom I considered role model mommas and they nursed their children so of course I would too. The first few weeks were tough and then there was the first time I got gummed…wow! I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes (and tits) but I persevered! He nursed every 2.5 hours like clock work. I was like, “Damn…again? Son, it’s 3 AM. Son, it’s 5:30 AM. SON, it’s 8 AM. Son of a… it’s 10:30AM!”

Ask me how many times I saw the sunrise. No, don’t ask me, just trust and believe it was more than a notion. BUT I did not die although I was just that sleepy. I mean I was so sleepy that I thought I might die from lack of sleep. Side-note: Newborns are cute, wrinkly thugs and they have no f*cks. Trust me. They don’t give a f*ck if you are sleepy. “Bish, where’s my milk,” is how I interpreted his cries…anyway… I digress…

It worked for me because I had a system

As the weeks went on, we developed a system and it got much easier. I cried and prayed for strength when he cried for milk. Sometimes I even napped when he nursed, especially during that first cluster feeding. WHEW! What a doozy. I also learned to eat substantial meals and snacks regularly so I could make milk. I even went to a weekly Lactation Group to learn more and gain support from other moms. Mainly though I went for the cupcakes. One meeting I got red velvet crumbs in his hair. I panicked because I thought he was bleeding from his hair and face. Once I realized he was okay, I ate those crumbs too.

When baby turned 7 weeks-old, I pumped for the first time. Picture it, Sicily 2015… a young mom pumping milk from her beautiful, sweet breasts. Seated in her living room for moral support is her husband, girlfriend who came to assist (because the pump was still in the box in which it arrived), and her Mom laughing her ass off and calling her “Bessie the Cow.” It was the weirdest experience but I needed to pump to gain my freedom at least temporarily. (We were invited to a fun and swanky wedding at the Four Seasons!) I didn’t pump again for another month because I felt guilty about leaving the baby. It was the silliest fight with my husband because I wanted to nurse and not give him a bottle. Had I known what I know now, I would have pumped and stored milk er’where. Oh well…

Returning to work

Very soon maternity leave was over and that’s when it got mad real. I had to go to work and make time to pump every 2.5 hours. I was sending 20 ounces of milk every day to daycare in addition to morning, evening and bedtime feedings at home. Dude was greedy! But as time went one, we developed a system and it got much easier. Soon I pumped like clockwork and could even drive and pump. (PSA: please don’t pump and drive. It’s cray cray to do that.) On my best days, I became the queen of power pumping…Yasss! Need 12- 15 ounces in one sitting? I got you, Boo! You couldn’t tell me nuttin! We were milk rich!

Finally we hit a milestone- baby turned six months-old. Now it’s time for solids. Yes? No! He’s got allergies so we postponed introducing solids. Finally confirm his specific allergies and we proceed full steam ahead to solids. Guess what? He’s not interested. Back to milk! In my mind I’m like, “ You’ve got six more months to figure it out! I’m evicting you on your first birthday.”

And then I nursed right through his first birthday

By now I’m sure you’ve figured out that his first birthday has come and gone and I am STILL f*cking nursing. I was going to wean him here, there, or anywhere. Wean him on a boat, with a goat, in a house, or with a mouse. (Shout out to Dr. Seuss.) The problem with weaning is the first-time-mom in me thought he would surely starve if I didn’t nurse. Due to that fear, we waited way later than we planned to introduce foods. Then it was a sh*t storm, err challenge when we finally did. With him being more alert and a lover of all things milk, he was pretty resistant to trying solids. Then one day it took and he loved solids. We added more and more textured foods of all kinds and he loved them. Today his favorite foods are roasted asparagus, dark meat chicken, turkey bacon, brown rice, plums, and a host of other things. He’s greedy, I tell you! He will eat almost anything especially if it’s on Mom or Dad’s plate.

“But, you’re still nursing?”

So why am I still nursing if he eats baby-man sized meals? Because. I love nursing. It works for us. It’s sweet. It’s the way we bond. He still benefits from my milk. He asks for it and I give it to him. I love him and I’m not ready to stop. He’s MY baby. It’s hard to resist when he says, “Milk, please?” And by the way, World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding up to two years old or beyond. So there!

Am I planning on weaning soon? I hope so. Maybe for his second birthday. But if I don’t it is not the end of the world. I guarantee you there are worse things to do with your breasts than nursing a toddler.

For those of you that like to ask moms, “Are you still nursing?” Just stop! Better yet, “Listen, Linda…worry about yo self!” What does it matter to you if I am nursing a toddler whom I love?

For the mommas out there with toddlers on their boobs, I salute you. It is a true labor of love. I have some clapbacks (i.e. snarky responses) you can feel free to use when people say, “ Are you still nursing?”

List of clapbacks:

-Yes, I’m still nursing. Want some?

-My tits, my terms.

-Who made you captain of the Titty Police?

-Why you all up in my bra?

-Girl bye, my sh*t is organic!

-And my favorite… MYOT… Mind your own titness.

Pick any one of them. They’ll work.

Nurse on, Mommas, nurse on!

Alexandria M. Cummings is world-class milk maker, wife, and financial coach. You can find her on Twitter spreading the gospel of smart spending and saving. She resides in Chicago with her husband and son.

Alexandria M. Cummings

Also published by Alexandria: 99 Problems But Your Marriage Ain’t One! Make It Work.

Facebook Tweet